| jennylee |
Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A. They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip, you can bite their heads off.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is the similarity between a man and thunderstorm?
A. They dont know when they are coming.
Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the **** out of you.
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.....Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
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| jennylee |
| HE: Hi, Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been give your share.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, dont be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Dont you already have one?
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
HE: Hey baby, whats your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
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| jennylee |
| What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that make dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
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