| Col. G-force |
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS!!!
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT!!
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS!!
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN!!!
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.
The next day the headline read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00!!
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE!!
The Bishop was buried the next day. |
| phil77 |
| First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class
with a real dead human body.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a
white sheet.
The professor began the lecture by telling them:
"In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a
doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the
human body."
To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of
the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth."
Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked
out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second
most important quality is observation."
"I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay
attention"
|